Please pay for me to go shark diving

In case you haven't realized it, I am absolutely fascinated and terrified by sharks, particularly these big porkers. It's been a dream of mine to drop in a cage with some in South Africa. Unfortunately, I've delayed the dream often by making dumb, impulsive purchases like motorcycles and fixed-gear bicycles, neither of which ever touch my ass.

So, if you've got thousands to spare, send me to South Africa. Thanks a bunch.